One Way to Get Rid of a Dead Dog
Update: Since I posted this blog last night, a friend of mine did some research, and as it turns out, the following tale is an urban legend. I must concede that I was duped completely. Oh, well. Hey, in my opinion it’s still a great story , so enjoy!
For some reason, dogs get the short end of the stick when they appear in this blog (see “Tail” of Woe). This strange true tale of woe, told to me by a friend, is no exception…
A young woman—let’s say her name is Nicole—was put in charge of watching her friends’ dog, an old German Shepherd, while her two friends (a married couple) were away on vacation. One bright summer afternoon, Nicole went to her friends’ apartment to check on the dog. She found it on the kitchen floor, dead.
Not knowing what exactly to do, Nicole called her friends and told them the sad news. Her friends were upset to be sure, but the dog was old and they were not wholly surprised by its demise. Not wanting to cut short their vacation, however, Nicole’s friends asked her if she could take the dog to the veterinarian and have it cremated. Nicole agreed.
Now, most people at this point would have called Animal Services or something, but I should let you know that this event happened in my hometown, Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania, and God knows if they even have such a thing as Animal Services like they do here in Los Angeles (a quick Google search for “Animal Services Mechanicsburg” didn’t yield too many useful results). But, of course, if Nicole was that sensible, this story wouldn’t be heading in the unfortunate direction it’s going, and the world would be short one perplexing story. But I digress…
Nicole tried to move the dog, but did so with much difficulty. First of all, the dog weighed over seventy pounds; and Nicole herself barely weighed 100 lbs. She soon realized there was no way she was going to get the dog out the apartment door, down the hallway, into the elevator, and out to her car without some kind of assistance. So, Nicole called the dog’s owners again.
The owners suggested that Nicole put the dead dog in a suitcase they owned, which was large and had wheels. Yes, a suitcase. Nicole agreed. So, Nicole stuffed the dead dog into a suitcase and wheeled it out of the apartment and to her car outside. But when Nicole went to lift the heavy suitcase into her trunk, she was again met with difficulty.
Fortunately, a man driving by stopped his car and asked Nicole if she needed any help. Nicole said, yes, she did. The man got out of his car and lifted the suitcase, felt its weight.
“Jesus,” he said. “This is heavy. What do you have in here?”
Nicole, not wanting to tell the stranger that she had a dead German Shepherd in a suitcase, said something to the effect of Well, I’m moving and I basically put my entire life in this suitcase.
Then, the man who offered his assistance presumably realized how valuable the suitcase was if it in fact had the young girl’s worldly possessions in it. So, he did what any sensible man in his situation would do:
He punched Nicole in the stomach, snatched the suitcase, jumped in his car, and drove away.
And that’s one way to get rid of a dead dog.
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hahahahaha i Like it! Good Samaritan turns into a thief and steals a dead dog. Typical of people in the society nowadays.
Thanks! Yeah, I would’ve paid serious money to see the look on the guy’s face when he opened the suitcase.
At first I thought that this was going to turn into a horror story, where she chops the dog up into pieces
. But it somehow had a good ending aside for the girl being punched in the face and the dog being stolen. I mean good as in humorous.
No, I’d never post a story where deliberate harm was done to an animal. I’m glad you find it funny! It may not be a true story–I think it’s an urban legend–but I still think it’s a good one.
Good one! I’d still be sad for losing the remains of my dog. Haha! Karma strikes fast?
.