While I have many and various musical tastes, one of my more guilty pleasures is listening to heavy metal.  I owe this influence to my younger brother, who even in his adolescence was already listening to classic metal acts like Metallica, Black Sabbath, and Slayer.

This tale happened one weekend while I was away at college and my brother was still living with our parents and attending a Catholic high school in central Pennsylvania…

One Saturday morning, my dad was using the computer, which used to be located in my parents’ finished basement.  It was early enough that morning that my dad had not yet put on shoes and was clicking away at the computer while his bare feet rested on the carpet under the desk.

Suddenly, my dad then felt something scratch at his toes.  But when he looked down at his feet, he saw nothing.  Moments later, the scratching sensation returned.  This time, when my dad looked down, he saw that one of his toes was slightly bleeding .  And next to his foot sat a mouse.  The mouse had been nibbling at his toes.

After informing my mom and my brother of what had just happened in the basement, my dad suggested setting a mouse trap.  My brother, however, always gentle and caring when it comes to animals, proposed to catch the mouse himself, without harm, and then release it at the nearby park.

My brother made quick work of setting up barriers in the basement, therefore cornering the mouse without harming it.  He then put the mouse in a small box and made way to his car.

Now, this is where the metal comes in.  My brother, at the time, was particularly fond of Slayer and would listen to their music at earsplitting volume in his car at all times.  So, my brother put the mouse-in-the-box on the passenger seat, cranked the Slayer, and drove off to the park to release the mouse.

But when my brother reached the park and opened the box, he learned that sometime in the few minutes it took to reach the park the mouse had died.  What had happened?  He concluded that the most probable cause of death was heart attack caused by the sudden and jarring sounds of Slayer.

That’s right, faithful readers, heavy metal apparently has the ability to kill small rodents.  Death by metal.  What a way to die.

I only own one suit.  This isn’t really a problem since I don’t wear suits that often.  But just in case I, say, have to wear said suit on consecutive or near-consecutive occasions (e.g. a second job interview), I have a few different shirts and ties that go well with the suit, as to give the appearance of different outfits.

Unfortunately, I bought the suit, the shirts, and the ties a few years ago when I was looking for work.  Apparently, since then, I have put on some weight.  Sure, I was aware of my weight gain before I put on the suit, but I wasn’t aware of which body parts had increased in size since the weight gain.

I had a job interview to go to a few weeks ago, so I pulled out my trusty suit and fancy shirts and started to get dressed.  The shirt felt a little snug around the old stomach region, but this wasn’t much of a surprise.  What surprised me was that I couldn’t for the life of me button the very top button.  You know, the button at the collar.  I couldn’t fasten it, couldn’t get it through that lousy hole.  Apparently, my neck is fatter than it used to be.

When you put on pants that are a little too small in the waist, you can suck in your gut.  No problemo.  But I soon learned that you can’t really suck in your neck.  Very difficult if not impossible to do.  So, I fought with this button (I thought about leaving it undone behind the tie knot, but then I worried I would look like a slob).  I had to try and then retry getting the dumb thing fastened.  I had to take breaks in between attempts.  It was ridiculous.

Finally, I buttoned the button.  Yes, the collar was a little snug, but damn, I looked good.