I only own one suit.  This isn’t really a problem since I don’t wear suits that often.  But just in case I, say, have to wear said suit on consecutive or near-consecutive occasions (e.g. a second job interview), I have a few different shirts and ties that go well with the suit, as to give the appearance of different outfits.

Unfortunately, I bought the suit, the shirts, and the ties a few years ago when I was looking for work.  Apparently, since then, I have put on some weight.  Sure, I was aware of my weight gain before I put on the suit, but I wasn’t aware of which body parts had increased in size since the weight gain.

I had a job interview to go to a few weeks ago, so I pulled out my trusty suit and fancy shirts and started to get dressed.  The shirt felt a little snug around the old stomach region, but this wasn’t much of a surprise.  What surprised me was that I couldn’t for the life of me button the very top button.  You know, the button at the collar.  I couldn’t fasten it, couldn’t get it through that lousy hole.  Apparently, my neck is fatter than it used to be.

When you put on pants that are a little too small in the waist, you can suck in your gut.  No problemo.  But I soon learned that you can’t really suck in your neck.  Very difficult if not impossible to do.  So, I fought with this button (I thought about leaving it undone behind the tie knot, but then I worried I would look like a slob).  I had to try and then retry getting the dumb thing fastened.  I had to take breaks in between attempts.  It was ridiculous.

Finally, I buttoned the button.  Yes, the collar was a little snug, but damn, I looked good.

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