I’ve experienced a lot of embarrassing moments in life; but the one that most readily comes to mind when I think of embarrassing moments is one that happened to me way back in first grade.

After recess, I got in line for the bathroom. I was first in line, but I really had to pee. Now, let me explain the bathroom situation for our first grade classroom. The classroom I in had its own, single toilet bathroom in the actual classroom. I guess the teachers didn’t want us to go down the hall and use the bathrooms that the rest of the school used. Maybe they thought we’d get lost on the way there. Subsequently, I had only a vague idea of where the bathrooms were outside of my classroom.

Anyway, I was next in line for the bathroom and behind me was a kid named Matt. I turned to Matt and said:

“I really have to go.”

“Knock on the door,” he said. “Who’s in there?”

“I don’t know.”

I knocked on the bathroom door.

“Who’s in there?” I asked.

“Nathan,” the young boy said.

“Hurry up! I really have to go!”

“OK.”

But the door remained closed, the toilet unflushed. By now, the rest of my classmates had come back from recess and were seated at their desks.

Then, suddenly, in front of everyone, I peed my pants. A dark wet spot quickly spread over the crotch of my jeans. Soon my teacher, Mrs. Neff, came over and saw what had happened. Next thing I know Mrs. Neff was unlocking the bathroom door and scolding Nathan, who was still on the toilet in mid dump.

Soon I was sent to the nurse’s office. I was provided a new, dry t-shirt, and a set of awful donor pants. If I recall, they were both plaid and polyester. She put my urine-soaked clothes in a plastic bag and sent me on my merry way.

Ah, childhood.